Killer, Lover, Pokemon Master...
This is a Professional Wrestling blog.
-The Cleaner
- Give the items to John Cena fans.
- Give them to a homeless shelter.
- Clothe children overseas.
- Recycle.
- Find something better to do with his time than being an asshole and polluting the water.
- Do just a little bit of research and find out that he too has a gnome.
- Be A Star.
- Work on his promos.
- Maybe actually have sex with somebody instead of talking all the time about having sex with somebody like he’s Scott Fucking Steiner.
- Win all of America’s wars, but I guess he is only qualified to beat up limey white people in the 18th century.
- Put a boot to somebody’s ass.
- Get a tattoo of all of his catchphrases on his wrist so he wont have trouble cycling through them again.
- Enjoy a hearty bowl of Fruity Pebbles.
- Think about the problematic nature of his comparing Cena to cereal when he cannot fire back comparing The Dwayne to Cocoa Puffs without being racist.
- Formulate a formal apology to the trans* community.
- Formulate a formal apology to the gay community.
- Maybe think about how using the word “midget” is an actual insult to the people you call “midgets”, [“this is an insult to midgets”].
- Think about how someone would be able to show someone else how something smells.
- Think about how John Cena likely doesn’t have any say on what merch is sold with his name on it.
- Think about how someone turns a ball sideways.
- Maybe think about redirecting his hate from Cena to the fans that cheered him in the first place.
- In fact, maybe think twice about alienating the people that do cheer him on. Especially children, because you look like a real dick.
- Think about redirecting hate to the guy who is also giving you a payday in Vinnie Mac who runs the show at the end of the day.
- Think about how the patriots you claimed were the best ever, (aside from you) would have you picking cotton.
- Actually invent a “time travel machine” instead of making jokes about flux capacitors and making me think about Kazarian.
- Think about how much harder life would be if he was actually 50% horse.
- Think about how big his dick would have to be to constitute 50% of his being.
- Think about how having a horse sized penis would be more problematic and painful for partners than anything else. Unless you are fucking actual horses. Which is against the law, as far as I know.
- Consider what other times the fighting would stop outside of “when the fighting was done”.
- Consider, if he actually makes the time machine, doing something different then settling a petty feud and instead using it to stop genocide or something. Especially if he is on par with Ben Franklin as far as brilliance goes.
- Actually be charismatic.
- Not make fun of someone for having qualities of the nineties when he is a product of said decade.
- Learn to play the guitar
- Get speared by Goldberg
- Work out how he’s going to sell Cena’s moves and how many rolls he’ll do after having his attitude adjusted.
- Make a good movie that isn’t about cars driving.
Okay, that last one might have been too much to ask.
